Cross Dressing

I went to Fenway Park on Sunday wearing the shirt pictured above.

Now I know what it feels like to have Double D's.

People were staring at my chest all day.


When I got out of my car behind the B.U. bookstore I completely forgot that I had put that particular shirt on that morning. We made our way through Kenmore Square and over the bridge that spans the Mass Pike. That's when the reactions began. Chuckles, snickers, head shakes and full out laughter. At first I thought I might have spilled coffee on myself or that I had a stray booger hanging in the wind. I checked my nose and then my shirt. Bingo! The "Jesus Hates The Yankees" shirt was drawing the same reaction from the crowds at Fenway that I had when I saw it in a record store in Hyannis just days earlier. Shock, hilarity, fun.

Buying that shirt was out of character for me. I usually dress in boring circa 1981 prep school attire, plain jeans, polo shirt, khaki's, oxford shirts and most definitely plain t-shirts. I may occasionally wear a shirt with a Red Sox logo or the name of a vacation spot, but never something so campy. We had Green Monster(standing room) tickets and by the time we made it to Gate E I had become a minor celebrity. Once I realized that the people pointing at me and laughing were doing so because of my shirt (I think) I started having fun with it. Folks from L.A., New York and Chicago asked to have pictures taken with me and my shirt. It wasn't all fun and games. For every ten gut busting laughs was a look of condemnation and disgust. One dad, who was I assume Catholic because of the eight kids he had in tow, looked me up and down as if I were a "puppy who just shat on the rug" (Sean Penn, Mystic River). An elderly woman told me I was going to hell. I nodded in agreement and assured her that my trip to Hades wasn't going to be for wearing the shirt. She looked around at the crowd around us and said "Well, you're not alone!". Frickin' Codger.




Its amazing to me that wearing that shirt was almost more of a Fenway highlight for me that the fact that I was up on the Green Monster for the first time in my life. I don't know if I'll ever wear that shirt again. It was $18.99 well spent, but contrary to my wife's belief I don't like to be the center of attention. If I happen to be the center of attention while spinning a yarn or throwing around some blarney, fine. But being the center of attention for what I am wearing, the staring, the gawking, makes me feel cheap. I'd rather have people like me for my mind, but occasionally I can see myself slipping into my revealing T, just to see the reactions.

The Longest Day

5:30 AM, June 23, 2002.

The first full day of Summer.

The longest day of the year.

The last memory I had of the alcohol soaked evening before was the sound of Jabe and Marcus cackling incessantly in between tokes while lounging on the deck. That was only three hours earlier. The morning was foggy, as most mornings are during early summer on Cape Cod. The fog is especially thick in Chatham where we were renting a house for two weeks for our clients with mental retardation. I have been organizing vacations for my clients for years. These trips are usually the highlight of the year for these clients whose usual day consists of: waking up, being shipped off to a day program to seal envelopes or break sticks under the guise of having a meaningful "job", come home, eat dinner, go to bed. The staff also look forward to these trips. Staff usually make slightly more than the person who mans the counter at Drunkin Donuts with 100 times the responsibility. With most of my staff being poor this is usually the only chance they have to spend a week in a house on the Cape.

Lying in bed listening to the sound alternate between the lapping of the waves and the pounding in my head I had a decision to make. I could lie there and hope to fall back asleep, knowing that we had a full day ahead sightseeing in Provincetown and going to a reggae show at the Beachcomber in Wellfleet. I could also go down to my car, drive five minutes to Chatham Seaside Links and walk nine holes in hopes of sweating out some toxins and clearing up the fogginess. I teed off around 6AM.

The Seaside links is a small, hilly golf course a couple hundred yards from Chatham Harbor. I couldn't see the water through the soupiness. First hole. I striped my ball down the middle of the short par four. I found my ball two feet from the green. I chipped my ball to six inches then tapped in for a birdie. As I bent over to retrieve my ball from the hole I violently heaved. I turned around instinctively to see if anyone saw my dry heaving, but there was nothing to see, it was covered in the soup. The next eight holes were a blur. I dragged myself to the car and lamented my decision not to lay in bed.

I returned to the house at 7:30 AM, no one was up yet. I had expected Tim, one of the staff who was not completely wasted the night before, being the designated sober person, to be up getting breakfast ready. I threw a couple pound of bacon on the griddle and made a pot of coffee. Like ghouls from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, staff and clients alike were drawn from their crypts by the smells emanating from the kitchen. Everyone ate breakfast on the deck, replaying the previous evenings events.

All were in agreement that the highlight of the evening was when Tim ( who is a cross between Barry White and Urkel) smooth-talked the hottest girl in the bar to dance with each of our clients. Dancing with the girl was the highlight of the evening for the clients. The highlight of the evening for the staff was confronting some young posers, primped and tanned, who were making some off color jokes loud enough for us to hear at the expense of our "men". "I can't believe you are jealous of some retarded guys" I said to one of the youngsters as I stepped directly into his line of sight. Marcus added "Yo Sully, that guy couldn't even talk to that girl never mind touch her" as the hottie was spinning one of our guys around, swing dance style. The kid took an abbreviated step toward me, but must've thought twice after sizing up the situation. He had six plus of his buddies with him. I had me, Marcus, a hostile black man in an all white bar. Jabe who, when not working for me, was a bouncer who actually looked forward to tossing drunks out onto their heads. Sammy, a thick necked, mild mannered Puerto Rican who can bench 300 lbs and Tim who still had a menacing stare from his days as a pimp in Springfield back in the eighties. As I stepped in to give the young man a firm "talking to" a girl that was with their group started yelling at the youngster. "You aah such a fukin' losah...those retah ded guys aah wicked cute". By this time the bouncers had taken notice of the scene. Having worked the door myself I commiserated with the big man on how tough it was dealing with drunks and explained the situation. He had a "talking to" with the youngster. He and his crew left, embarrassed and defeated. After breakfast everyone went back to bed to rest up for the day.

The next few hours were a blur. I tried to sleep down at the beach, but the sound of kids playing and seagulls squawking awoke me each time I started to fade. At 12:30 PM we loaded up and headed 30 minutes north to Provincetown. Sammy was driving the van along with Tim and our "men". Me, Jabe and Marcus followed in my Bonneville. Tim and Sammy were the designated sober people today as they would be driving with the clients. We cracked open some beers in my car. Jabe took a percocet I had hanging around since my wife had surgery weeks earlier. Within ten minutes he asked if the car was upsidedown.

The afternoon in Provencetown was spectacular. The fog had burned off by 2 PM and the sky had a hazy blue hue. We ate, shopped and people watched. Me, Jabe and Marcus went to a bar on the water down by MacMillian Wharf . The rest went to get Ice Cream. We left the bar after a couple of Bud Lights. On the way out of the place a dude walking in looked me up and down and said "mmm, hmmm, yummy". Gay or not, its nice to be appreciated. I gave him a high five and caught up with Jabe and Marcus who were moving quickly toward the town center.


We arrived at "The Beachcomber" around 5 PM. The "comah" is located on a sandy bluff about 75 feet above Cahoon Hollow beach overlooking the Altantic Ocean. The haze and heat we endured while exploring P-town had been replaced by crisp, cooler air fueled by a slight on-shore breeze. By this time Tim had joined me, Marcus and Jabe as "off the clock" leaving Sammy in charge of the men. Sammy and the men headed inside the club while the rest of us hiked down the steep path to the beach. Down by the water Marcus pulled out a "J" and after numerous attempts trying to light it in the breeze got it sparked. We sat in a semi-circle looking out at the water and decided that we were currently in the best location on the planet. With a new found spring in our step we glided back up the path toward the sound of the reggae music.

"Yellowman", a Jamaican reggae star known for having yellow hair, light skin and half his face missing from cancer, was starting his first set. We entered through the outdoor bar section of the club and could see the yellow one swaying to the ska beat on stage while the audience was bouncing in rhythm. Marcus and I headed into the sea of bodies moving and grinding while Jabe and Tim opted for the cool breeze and openness of the outdoor bar. The smell of sweat, booze and ganja was an intoxicating mix; I was lost in the hypnotic beat. As I exited the dance hall to the outdoor bar I could see the beginnings of the full moon peak above the horizon. I gathered the whole group and we went to the edge of the bluff to watch the moon rise. Once the moon escaped from the horizon it appeared to sit on top of the water, floating in the waves. A tanker heading out to sea appeared below the moon as it headed up into the darkening evening skies. We all went back to the club where Yellowman was intensely thrashing about the stage as if he were having a seizure. The crowd pulsed as he wailed on.

The show ended about 10PM. Sammy gathered the men and headed back to the beach house. The rest of us lingered at the outdoor bar opting for fruity, girly drinks with enough suger to temporarily neutralize the sedative effect of the day's drinking. Now that the show was over the outdoor bar became crowded. Bodies pressed against one another, some cute and inviting, others just sweaty and drunk. We maintained a semi-circle at one end of the bar looking out over a dune. The moon had risen just over the dune and the wispy dune grass was silhouetted against the luminous sphere. We again decided that this was the best location on earth.

At 10:45 we decided to head back to the beach house. At the Orleans rotary I decided that instead of heading south off the rotary toward Chatham we would head 25 minutes west toward Hyannis. There would still be some action there, even on a Sunday night. The bars in Hyannis weren't as promising as I had anticipated. We drove down Main Street, slowly, assessing the possibilities. After cruising Main Street twice we decided to head to a bar in neighboring Yarmouth that would not have the excitement we were looking for, but would be a place we could get a final drink before heading back to the beach house. It was now midnight and we had not had a drink, except for sharing two beers we had stashed in the car, since leaving the "Comah".

We entered "Molly's" and immediately bellied up to the bar. Ben was there again. Ben had probably tended bar there every day since the place opened. He spoke in a thick nasally Irish accent having had his nose broken a number of times as semi-successful prize fighter in his youth. His claim-to-fame was fighting on a Hagler under card. "What'll it be fellers" lilted the brawler. The black guys drank Johnnie Walker. The white irish-american guys had a Guinness. The bar was empty except for a table with two guys and two girls. Jabe struck up a conversation with one of the girls. She was cute. She had smooth, milky skin dotted with a few freckles. Her strawberry-blonde hair was the perfect complement to her complexion. I detected a mild brouge.

At first there was lighthearted banter flowing between Jabe and the girl. At some point while the rest of us talked amoungst ourselves at the bar their conversation turned . She, not being as drunk as we, mistook Jabe's sarcasm for arrogance and rebuffed his advances. Jabe had his ego bruised and all it took was a sideways look from one of the guys to set him off. "What are you looking at" he barked at the guy. "Not much" said the guy. I immediately headed toward the car knowing what was to come next. As I pulled the car around Marcus ran up to my drivers side window "Sull, pop the trunk. You got a crow bar or a golf club in there?". "Get in" I bellowed like a father who is disgusted by his sons childish behavior. Tim appeared on the passenger side door and got in. We pulled up to the front door just in time to see Jabe face to face with the guy. Jabe was barking at him, then suddenly spit his gum in the guys face and walked away. A sense of relief washed over me as he poured himself into the backseat of my Bonneville. "I'm too old for this shit guys" I said as we took a right out of the parking lot for our 20 minute ride down Route 28 toward Chatham.

The ride back to Chatham was dead quiet. Marcus and Jabe were passed out in the back seat, while Tim and I stared at the road ahead. We returned to the beach house at about 1:30 AM. Tim disappeared into his room in the basement. Jabe and Marcus headed out to the deck to smoke and recap the days events. I settled down into my bed. From the deck floated the pungent smell of smoke and the sounds of hushed laughter.

Tiny Dancer

On Saturday my 4 year old son Matt had his first experience performing in front of a crowd. He wasn't wearing a baseball uniform and cleats. He wasn't wearing shoulder pads and a helmet. He didn't have on knee pads and soccer shorts. He was wearing a pink bow tie, a sky-blue vest, white pants, shirt, and ballet shoes.

Late last summer my wife asked me what I thought of Matt taking dance classes on Saturday mornings. My first reaction was "ok". I pictured big, steroid enhanced football players taking ballet to hone their balance and agility. I remembered that Jerry Rice and Emmit Smith were graceful on "Dancing with the Stars". I figured that it will be good for his physical and social development (1 guy and 15 girls in Tu-Tu's is more my fantasy than his, but good for his socialization none the less). She signed him up.

Every Saturday from September 'till June Lori, Matt and Peter(my 2 year old) would leave the house at 9:30 AM until 11:30 AM. I savored the few hours without anyone in the house. I mowed the lawn or cleaned out the garage or slept. The only time I gave any thought to him "dancing" was when I brought him to class when Lori had to work on a few Saturday's. Even then I never saw him dancing. Parents waited outside while the class was in the studio. There were a few "parent observation days" and I attended one, but it consisted of 10 minutes at the end of class where in there was some stretching, ballet moves and a quick "Itsy Bitsy Spider". Non-eventful.

In May Lori told me that Matt had to go for a fitting for his recital costume.

Oh Shit!

Recital.

I suddenly remembered that Lori had said that there would be a recital. I had never given it a second thought. My solitary Saturday mornings had come with a price. My son dancing in front of an audience. I privately thought I won't have a mini Tom Brady or Big Papi, I've got a Billy Elliot.



She brought home his costume a week before the recital.

She had him try it on.


The sound of my balls shriveling up on the vine and dropping into my drawers was audible.

He was cute, but I would think he was cute if he was wearing rags, wiping my windshield with a newspaper with his fingerless gloves, hand out waiting for a tip.

I had a work retreat on the Cape from Thursday until Saturday morning. I headed off then Cape at 6:30 AM. to be sure I had plenty of time to be ready for his 2PM stage debut. During the ride home I realized that this would be his first "event" besides birthday's and his baptism. This would be his first tangible accomplishment.

We entered the foyer of the building on Mount Holyoke College where the recital was being held. There were dozens of girls ranging in age from 3 to 18 milling about the halls nervously waiting for their turn on stage. We entered the theater and there were hundreds of people there for the show. Matt's group was on tenth so we watched the first seven acts from our seats in the back of the theater. There were a few boys in some of the numbers, few meaning three. Lori brought Matt backstage and got back with one act to go before his debut. His group made it out onto the stage with the lights down.

The lights came up and there he was, on stage. The music started. They did a four minute number which consisted of a montage of "Itsy Bitsy Spider", "Wheels on the Bus" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". At first he looked so serious, following the teachers direction from the pit in front of the stage. Then for a while he was following the routine by memory as he gazed out into the darkened audience. I watched every move intently. When the act was over I realized that I must have had a huge smile on the whole time because my cheeks ached. Lori went back and got Matt from backstage and brought him out to the foyer were I, along with my sister-in-law with her daughter Jillian and Lori's co-worker and her daughter, was waiting for him. As I waited for him to arrive in the foyer I felt like I thought I would after he pitched his first no-hitter or scored his first touchdown. When I finally saw him he looked so grown up and worldly, as if his 4 minutes on stage had given him a booster shot of poise and confidence.

He could play soccer this Fall, but all they do at his age is run around the field in a bunch, like a clump of beetles. He could play T-ball in the Spring, but he would most likely be bored; he can already hit balls pitched around 30 miles an hour.

I wonder what routine his dance class will be doing next year?

My Former Life

I've led lots of different lives. For fifteen years I played 100+ softball games a year traveling all over in tournaments. For ten years I played 100+ rounds of golf per year, going on golf trips and playing in golf leagues. During all of that time I drank tons of beer, did lots of gambling and had lots o' fun.

For the past four years I've been "Dad".

I am not going to lie and say "being a Dad is the best thing I've ever done". I won't lie and say "I don't even remember what it was like before I had kids, what did I do with myself?". Anyone who tells you that stuff is completely full of shit.

I love being a parent. I revel in my sons' accomplishments like the other day when my 4 year old son hit a baseball over the fence into his grandpa's yard 60 feet away. I beam with pride when my 2 year old speaks in full sentences that even strangers can understand. But I miss sleeping. I miss golf. I miss my former life. I remember exactly what I did before I had kids and my wife similarly recalls our grand life before kids.

My wife and I lived what I call "reverse retirement". We had double income, no kids and for a long time, lived the "life of Riley".

My typical June weekday went as follows:

6 AM - go to the gym

7:30 AM - leave the gym

8 AM - eat breakfast at home, read the newspaper

9 AM - go to one of my "group homes" to check on the clients and do some work.

10:30 AM - go to the golf course and play 9 holes

Noon: - Eat lunch at the course

1PM - Go home, take a nap

3 PM - Go back to the golf course, chip and putt until I play in one of my three leagues. Call work to check in.

4-7 PM play in my league.

7-9 PM drink beer.

9-11 PM Hang with my wife (maybe some lovin'), sleep.

Weekends were all about me and my wife sleeping in till whenever, going out to brunch, taking weekend getaways, golfing, movies, dinner.... hedonism at its finest. We vacationed liberally and spent money friviously.

My buddy Billy came over for coffee this morning and I was discussing my former life. Billy and I used to play golf every day and spent many a morning drinking coffee commiserating about our hangovers. He reminded me of a morning five years ago not unlike today, sunny and warm, when over coffee I was complaining about how stagnant things had become for me and my wife. I thought my marriage was in trouble. I kevetched about wanting kids and a house etc..

So I've decided that its great to look back on the good old days, but "the good old days weren't always good, tommorrows not as bad as it seems" (Billy Joel, "Keeping the Faith"). My life is great, probably as good as its ever been.

I will still long for those days of 36 holes of golf on the "Vineyard" and sleeping until 10:00 AM., just as twenty years from now I will long to hear the sound of my boys playing in the yard, to smell maple on their breath after eating pancakes or to feel the warmth of the four of us snuggling in bed on a chilly winter morning.

Cuba Libre

I am sitting on my bed, listening to my kids play in the living room, drinking coffee and watching the Today Show. Matt Lauer is in Cuba and espousing on the pros and con's of the Socialist regime that has been in place there since Fidel came out of the jungles in 1959. A number of politicians have been on the show this morning condemning Castro and proselytizing the spread of democracy. I am sitting here thinking, why does every government in the world have to be a democratic government?

I am not naive. In order for capitalism to flourish we need to have the least of amount government involvement possible and the form of government that is ideal for the spread of capitalism is a democratically elected government. Its all about money.

If we want Cuba to be a democracy, shouldn't we open up trade and tourism and let the lure of US currency wash their socialism out into the Caribbean?

The answer is yes.

You can't force a country to become a democracy (see: Iraq). You have to win over the peoples minds and spirit with the promise of peace and prosperity (eg: USSR) The Cuban people already have been exposed to American culture through the airwaves and first hand reports from family and friends living in Florida. I guarantee that within a year of dropping the embargo that has been in place against Cuba for the past 47 years the current regime will fall and we will have a strong ally in the Caribbean.

Democracy speaks for itself. There is no need to continue to push democracy as an unknown ideology. The US is far from being the moral compass for the world so should stop trying to be the world's police force. Maybe we should become more introspective as a country and try to fix the things in this country that have eroded the populace's faith in the democratic system. If we want to be the beacon of hope for these countries that have yet to embrace democracy, then we should show those countries we do a better job at educating our children, caring for our sick and feeding our hungry than they do. Until we are in the top 5 in education, health care and people living above the poverty line then we should concentrate more on building our own nation, than nation building.

Cuba libre?

Someday.

When its people see the US as allies and not oppressors.

Top 5 Records Part II

Yesterday I assigned myself the task of picking my Top 5 songs in three different categories. Since I don't work in a low traffic record store like the guys in High Fidelity and have all day to think about minutiae, I had to ponder my lists while on the cardio machine at the gym, while pitching baseballs to my sons and during meetings at work. My head is spinning from all of the memories and emotion these songs elicit. Here we go!

Top 5 Beach Songs:

I had to take all Reggae out of the equation because it would completely dominate my Top 5. Props to Jimmy Cliff, Bob Marley, Shaggy and Sean Paul!!

5. Pulling Muscles From A Shell - Squeeze

Difford and Tillbrook were the best songwriters of the late 70's and early 80's.
Innuendo? Most definitely.

"But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And i feel like william tell
Maid marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell"

4. Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett

You can't have a summer song list without Buffett.

"blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heel had to cruise on back home
But theres booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on"

3. Beautiful Girls - Van Halen

"She was seaside sittin, just a smokin and a drinkin on ringside,
On top of the world, oh, yeah.
She had her drink in her hand; she had her toes in the sand and whoa,
What a beautiful girl, ah, yeah."

The lyrics say it all!

2. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys

Beach Boys and Summer, enough said.

Time to dose out.

"I, I love the colorful clothes she wears
And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair
I hear the sound of a gentle word
On the wind that lifts her perfume through the air"

Sounds like Brian Wilson discovered "X".

1. Under The Boardwalk - The Drifters

You can imagine yourself at the beach with all the sights and smells and whats better than "on a blanket with my baby is were I'll be".

Top 5 Songs While Having Sex:

Each song has to be under 3 minutes...just kidding.

There are so many songs about sex that this category was the toughest. Prerequisites? A driving beat, screeching and dudes with long hair.

5. Feel Like Making Love - Bad Company

Driving drum beat exacerbates Paul Rodgers plea for some lovin'.

4. Just A 'Lil Bit - 50 Cent

Nasty. Luther Campbell type nasty.

3. Give It Up To Me - Sean Paul

"So back it up deh..So pack it up yeah
Cause I wanna be the man that's really gonna have it up and mack it up and
Slap it up yeah...So what is up yeah...You know you got the sinting inna me pants a develop and a swell up and
Double up yeah...So gimmie the work yeah cause if you no gimme the work the blue balls a erupt yeah..
So rev it up deh gal gwaan try you luck deh cause when you stir it up you know me haffi measure up yeah."

Those reggae artists know how to f***.

2. Slow 'An Easy - Whitesnake

"So take me down slow an easy,
Make love to me slow an easy
I know that hard luck an trouble
Is coming my way,
So rock me til Im burned to the bone"

Ouch...but it hurts so good! (by the way John Cougar never came close to this list)

1. In the Evening - Led Zepplin

Robert Plant squealing always gets me ready to rock!! Personal favorite of the wife and I. Good times.....

Top 5 Songs At My Funeral:

Every one at one time or another imagines what it'll be like at their funeral. If you want something other than organs and hymns and uncontrollable sobbing, then get your playlist together now! Every wake should be an Irish wake!!!

5. Angel - Sarah McLaughlin

It would be awesome if she would come and sing it live, in church. She has the sweetest voice. Imagine being her kid and getting sung to every evening.

4. Ave Maria - Chris Cornell

The Catholic boy in me doesn't think its a funeral until "Ave Maria" is sung. Cornell has one of the best voices and this rendition is haunting. You can find it on one of those "Very Merry Christmas" compilations wherein rock/pop stars do XMas tunes.

3. Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding - Elton John

The organ in the beginning of the song sets the somber tone. Its an instrumental until the upbeat "Love Lies Bleeding" starts.

2. Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End - The Beatles

This song montage was used in the funeral scene of the crappy "Sergent Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club Band" movie with the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton. The songs are on "Abbey Road".

1. That Lonesome Road - James Taylor

JT sang this at John Belushi's funeral. The lament and regret in this song is palpable. If its good enough for Belushi, its good enough for me!

"Walk down that lonesome road all by yourself
Dont turn your head back over your shoulder
And only stop to rest yourself when the silver moon
Is shining high above the trees

If I had stopped to listen once or twice
If I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes
If I had cooled my head and warmed my heart
Id not be on this road tonight

Carry on

Never mind feeling sorry for yourself
It doesnt save you from your troubled mind

Walk down that lonesome road all by yourself
Dont turn your head back over your shoulder
And only stop to rest yourself when the silver moon
Is shining high above the trees"

More Top 5's another time.

Top Five Records

I read a post by Plez back in March where in he was asked by another blogger to produce a list of his top 7 songs of all time. He cheated and put his ipod on shuffle and let technology pick his favorites. I did the same and came up with this list:

Alison - Elvis Costello
Reasons - Earth, Wind and Fire
Shimmer - Fuel
I'll Be Around - The Spinners
I Was Brought to My Senses - Sting
Foolish - Ashanti
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Lauren Hill & Bob Marley
Bonus Track: Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

Although I like all of the songs on this list (or else they wouldn't be on my mp3) I can't say that they are all in my top 7. This got me thinking, how can you pick a top 7 list? The answer: you can't!!

In the movie High Fidelity John Cusack is a record store owner who hangs around with his two employees (Jack Black and some other dude) all day and think up top 5 lists of songs by category (top 5 break-up songs, top 5 songs at a funeral, top 5 songs by Latin artists, you get the point). Shortly after reading Plez's post I caught High Fidelity at 3 AM during a bought with insomnia. I decided that you can never have an overall top 7 because music is tied to so many other factors that your top 7 one day will be different than the top 7 another depending on mood, season, weather, activity etc..

7 seems like too much work, so here are some top 5 lists to attempt:

Top 5 Beach songs

Top 5 songs to play while having sex

Top 5 songs at your funeral

What are some good top 5 lists?

I'll give you my answers in my next post.

"The Bay"

My mother-in-law lives in Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi in the depths of the Deep South. Three of the past four years we visit her during Mother's Day week. She gets us a condo, on the beach, in Gulf Shores, Alabama and we spend the week steps from the Gulf of Mexico. The beach there rivals any beach I've been to in Florida (Florida is only five miles away), California or the Caribbean. The sand is powder white and the water has that iridescent green/blue hue not found any where north of Cape Hatteras. The week is a chance for my wife and her mom to reconnect and its give my kids a chance to get to know their "Nana".






Nana moved down south 20 years ago when her then husband retired from the railroad. After visiting some friends in Mississippi they decided to move there enticed by the mild winters and the low cost of living. Since living there she has been divorced, remarried, divorced again and now lives with her current boyfriend Chuck. She bought the bar she was working in, Benignoes, about ten years ago. When Hurricane Katrina's eye wall passed directly over "The Bay" 21 months ago and sucked most of the town into the Gulf, her house and bar survived intact. For months after the storm, her bar was the only watering hole available for 30 miles in any direction.

We were vacationing in Maine in late August of '05. On Sunday morning as we were getting ready to go to the pool I was watching the news and saw that Katrina was making a beeline for the gulf coast. I told my wife to call her mother. Her mother was in the process of getting out of town. She spent the storm in northern Mississippi and upon hearing that the Gulf Coast was completely destroyed she drove north to Massachusetts. She spent five weeks living with us, getting daily updates from her boyfriend who had gone back to Bay Saint Louis the day after the storm to assess the damage, help look for missing people and slowly start the rebuilding process. When she received word that things were livable (meaning running water, electricity and dead bodies not being found indiscriminately) she asked me to accompany her on the ride back to "The Bay". We drove 14 hours, spent the night in Virginia, then got up at 6 AM so we could make it to her bar for "Happy Hour". As soon as we entered northern Mississippi we could see some wind damage, uprooted trees and downed road signs. As we got closer to the coast the damage increased. By the time we reached the coast it looked like "Nuclear Winter". There were no leaves on the trees, most were bent or broken in half. There were rows and rows of empty slabs were houses once stood. There were parking lots full of tents and trailers housing relief workers. The smell of burning wood was in the air as the only way most could clear the rubble from their lots was to burn it. One lot we drove by a few blocks from her bar was filled with refrigerated trailers I found out was being used to store dead bodies that hadn't yet been claimed or identified. We headed into her bar for "Happy Hour". The bar was full, the silence spoke volumes.

I spent three days there in Bay Saint Louis and with the exception of an occasional drunken ride through town to survey damage I sat in her bar drinking and listening. Stories about seeing lifeless bodies stuck in trees thirty feet in the air after the water receeded back into the gulf. Stories about standing on rooftops for hours waiting for help. Stories about sifting through rubble looking for some semblance of normalcy. The story most heard was that of insurance companies that were not paying claims because people didn't have flood insurance, even though they all had hurricane insurance. The faces of the bar patrons had lifeless, blank expressions, but their eyes had a panicked look as if they were replaying horrific scenes over and over in their head. The eeriest scene I encountered was when I left the bar a half hour before the ten o'clock curfew and drove down some streets near the beach and saw lot after lot of people huddled around barrel fires, some holding shotguns. Its what I imagined it would be like after the apocalypse.

I flew back to Massachusetts out of Gulfport at 6 AM on a crystal clear morning. I had a connecting flight to Haftford from Houston, so we flew directly over "The Bay" on our western flight over the gulf coast. The sun was just coming up as we made our ascent. Flying down the gulf coast you could see damage from the air. When we got to "The Bay" it looked as if God had taken a broom and swept a swath ten miles long and a mile inland directly into the gulf. It was the worst damage discernible by air from Gulfport to Houston which included a flyover of New Orleans which was still covered by water.

21 months later the place is still a mess. Insurance claims still have yet to be settled. There is still an eerie silence where you would expect to hear the sound of hammers and saws. My mother-in-law has done alright. She has opened up a second bar on land that was being leased to another bar by the railroad. The couple that owned the other bar gave my mother-in-law the lease as they were leaving the town for good, never wanting to relive the horror of another hurricane. She rebuilt on site and the new bar is called the "Rusty Rail".

Our visits the last two years since the hurricane have been bittersweet. We travel from one of the most depressing places in the south, Bay Saint Louis, to one of the nicest, Gulf Shores and then back to "The Bay". I like to think that our yearly visits provide a sense of normalcy and stability to my mother-in-law's life. She is talking about buying a condo in Gulf Shores at the same place we go for our yearly visits; that will be her "get away" from the troubles in "The Bay". As long as there are hurricanes, there will never be a sense of normalcy or stability in "The Bay".

A Letter To "The Rocket"

Dear Mr. Clemens,

I was extremely disappointed to hear that you are going to play baseball for the New York Yankees this summer. I was a big fan when you pitched for the Red Sox. I was a season ticket holder at Fenway and saw you pitch many a masterpiece live and in person. I was angry with the Sox management, namely, Dan Duquette, when they let you slip away to Toronto and disrespected you by saying that you were "in the twilight of your career". I rooted for you when you won the 2 Cy Young's in Toronto. I was even happy for you personally when you got your World Series rings with the hated Yankees. Even 2 seasons ago when the Astros were in the World Series I wanted to see you do well. Now I hate your fucking guts!!

I understand why you left the Sox. You felt unwanted. The team from top to bottom was in disarray. There was money, wins and rings to be gained elsewhere. Now the Sox have an exemplary organization from top to bottom, so why won't you return?

Your conditions outlined through your agent were that you wanted to go to the team that has the best chance of going to the World Series and you must think that is the Yankees. As of this morning the "Pinstripes" are 15-16, 6 games behind the first place Red Sox. So much for your conditions. Good luck. When you are done pitching your five innings of 3 hit, 1 run ball the Yankees bullpen is going to blow your lead. You will be lucky to eek out 7 wins if you start pitching in mid June. You are setting yourself up for a big fall.

If you think you are going to come in to save the Yankees and be the hero, think again. You have been pitching in the weak hitting NL Central for the past three years. Your innings have decreased each year. Not only are you going to get racked by the AL, but you are going to pitch in the AL East which is arguably the best hitting division in baseball.

You knew back in March that you were not going to Boston, but you flirted with us in hopes of getting George to up the ante. Well, your plan was successful and you and your "boyfriend" Pettitte can smack each other on the ass all summer. I'm glad you will be wearing a Yankees hat into Cooperstown, you are a Yankee, black and white.

My four year old can name every member of the Sox and he knows most of the Yankees. When we watch you make your first start against the Sox I will make it a point to let him know who you are and that you truly are a traitor.

Brutus, Judas Iscariot, Benedict Arnold, and Roger Clemens.

Sincerely,

David D. Sullivan

PS: Yankees Suck!

My Better Half

I am 42 years old.

My first 21 years were pretty tough. (Cue the violins)

When I was five my two month old brother Derek died. When I was seven my parents divorced. We moved from the projects in Boston to the projects in Northampton. We were poor. My mother struggled with substance abuse, mental illness and health issues. Two days after graduating high school my mother had a brain aneurysm that burst causing her to have paralysis on her left side for the rest of her life. A week before I was supposed return to Westfield State for my second semester my mother had a massive stroke which put her in the hospital for four months. I had to drop out of school to care for my four younger siblings. The following year my Aunt Rosie and my Grandma Norton passed away within four months of each other leaving me without my "Holy Trinity" of maternal figures. As I turned 21 I was struggling to make ends meet living off my student loans, living in an apartment with a bunch of my childhood friends who were dealing with their own struggles.

My better half began the day I met my wife (read the story here under the heading April 29, 1986). Up until the time I met her I had no use for women unless they had beer or drugs or wanted to screw. She was the first person I met who demanded nothing from me. She was self-sufficient and emotionally stable (traits I never encountered in a woman before). I never felt any pressure to impress her or to constantly be in contact with her as I felt with other relationships. After a few months I realized that she was someone I could spend the rest of my life with because we could be happy doing nothing; just spending time in each others company. She liked me for the "real" me and vice versa.

We spent the first 15 years together living what I call "reverse retirement". Double income, no kids, traveling, enjoying life and each other. We've "grown up" in the past six years having kids, buying a house and dealing with some difficult adult issues. I still feel the same about her today as the day I met her.

Last night was 21 years that we've been together. April 29, 1986, Roger Clemens struck out 20 and I started my better half.

Who Are You Going To Vote For In 18.5 Months?

For the past month, every night I have to watch "It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown" with my kids or they whine like they are being water boarded. There is a shopping montage in this special where in the Peanuts gang go shopping for Easter stuff and there are Christmas displays up, in April!! The last time I saw this particular Peanuts special was when I was 10, so when I saw the shopping montage I laughed out loud. Last night when I watched the Democratic Presidential Debate I felt the same sense of ridiculousness. Having a presidential debate 18.5 months before the general election makes Christmas shopping in April seem reasonable.

I'm jumping on the bandwagon!

Plez from Atlanta had a post on his blog a few weeks ago in which he inserted the SelectSmart.com 2008 Presidential Candidate Selector . It only takes a few minutes, but is entertaining and gets you thinking about the issues.

My results are:

1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (100%)
2. Barack Obama (74%)
3. Al Gore (72%)
4. Hillary Clinton (70%)
5. Dennis Kucinich (70%)
6. Joseph Biden (69%)
7. Wesley Clark (67%)
8. Christopher Dodd (61%)
9. John Edwards (61%)
10. Bill Richardson(59%)
11. Ron Paul (42%)
12. Kent McManigal (37%)
13. Mike Gravel (36%)
14. Elaine Brown (35%)
15. Mike Huckabee (35%)
16. Tommy Thompson (32%)
17. Rudolph Giuliani (29%)
18. Mitt Romney (26%)
19. Newt Gingrich (23%)
20. John McCain (23%)
21. Tom Tancredo (22%)
22. Chuck Hagel (16%)
23. Duncan Hunter (16%)
24. Sam Brownback (16%)
25. Jim Gilmore (14%)
26. Fred Thompson (13%)

I never liked Fred Thompson on "Law and Order", now I know why.

Cut and paste your results in the comments section if you'd like.

Remember vote early and often!!!

Back to Back to Back to Back

As you know from my last post I went to the Sox/Yankees game the other night with my friend Hiroshi. Hiroshi is the owner of Beaver Brook Golf Club where I am a member. I occasionally work for him as a bouncer for various events, mainly UMass frat parties. We have much in common, especially golf. We play a lot of golf together and have gone on a few golf trips. He has been to many Yankees games at Yankee Stadium; a friend of his had season tickets when he was going to Columbia for his Masters. He has lived in Massachusetts for the better part of thirty years and amazingly Sunday night was his first trip to Fenway.


Sunday was one of the best April nights in Boston ever!!

The skies were crystal clear and the temperature was mild. We got into town about 5PM and went to "Game On" for a beer. Hiroshi bought a Matzusaka T-Shirt and a Sox hat at the Souvenir Shop on Yawkey Way. As soon as the gates opened we headed straight for field level and caught Sox batting practice. We stood at a spot between the screen behind home plate and the Yankees dugout in the first row. Manny and Papi were taking their cuts when we arrived. We spent the next hour drinking beer and watching the Yankees take BP.

The game was a classic; as classic as you can get in April. Matzusaka was having an off day, but the crowd cheered his every move. If you are a Sox fan (or watch ESPN) you know that in the bottom of the third inning the Sox hit home runs in four consecutive At Bats tying a Major League record.

Manny, JD, Lowell and Tek.

1,2,3,4.


With two outs in the third Hiroshi decided to beat the "tween inning" rush and headed down to the men's room. As he was heading down the runway he heard the crowd roar as Manny hit a bomb over everything in left-center. He was peeing when he heard the cheers from JD's homer over the Sox bullpen. He watched Lowell's on a TV monitor on his way back to the seats. Just as he got to our seats Tek hit his dinger.

I've been to over 150+ games in my lifetime at Fenway Park including the playoffs.

That series of at bats was one of the most electric moments I've ever experienced at Fenway.

Hiroshi did do some translating for me. He explained that the Dunkin' Donuts sign over the right field bleachers with Japanese characters does not say "Dunkin Donuts" as I thought, but "Welcome to Fenway Park" (He said that they don't eat donuts in Japan). He also translated some signs that folks were holding up and some t-shirts.


Another spectacular, history making night in the Fens. Just me and my translator.

The Ultimate Accessory

I am going to the Sox/Yankees game Sunday night with the ultimate accessory for attending a game at Fenway Park in 2007, my own Japanese translator, Hiroshi.

I know, I know you are all saying, "Sully, you follow every trend that comes down the pike. First the parachute pants, then the "Tae Bo" work outs and even the blogging, but now you have your own translator!!"

If "Dice K" can have one, why can't I?

Sully is going international!!

Any fan can go to the old ballpark buy a "Dice K" shirt, a Big Papi autographed ball or Manny's grill (on EBay), but how many can show up toting their own translator to a game with Matzusaka on the mound.

First, I'll use him to try to get us in the Sox clubhouse by having my translator pose as "Dice K's" Uncle Hiroshi who came by to honor him before slaying the "Yankee Devils".

In pre-game warm ups I'll have him to yell out "over here" in fluent Japanese in hopes of getting an autograph.

During the game as I chant "Gaaay Rod" and "Jeter you suck!!" he'll follow in a perfect Tōhoku-ben dialect.

Truth be told, my friend Hiroshi has been calling his friends back in Japan and telling them that he is going to a Red Sox game with a real live "loud , obnoxious, drunken, Irish-American, Boston Baseball Fan".

To him, I am the ultimate accessory.

Virginia Tech

When are we going to learn?

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and acts like a duck....then its a duck.

I have been watching the drama unfolding at Virginia Tech. in the wake of the disaster that occurred there on Monday. The pundits and arm chair quarterbacks have been weighing in on their opinions and asking "how could this have happened?" and "how could this have been prevented?". My thoughts on the matter might be simplistic, but I think I can answer those questions.

How could this have happened?

The real question should be "when was this going to happen?". The description of the shooter by all those that interacted with him is consistent. He was a loner. He had written violent plays and essays posted on thesmokinggun.com and in English class. He reportedly had classmates, who after reading his work in English class, prophetically joke that would someday shoot up the school. High school classmates said that he would not respond to pleasantries and if he did it would be with a distant, far off glare. He would not make eye contact when speaking and would often mumble. He was described by his English advisor as "seriously disturbed" and her attempts to get him help through the counseling department failed. She even notified the police who said that there was nothing they could do.

How could this have been prevented?

Early intervention.

This kind of illness doesn't develop over night. It hasn't been reported, but I would bet you dollars for donuts that this man had adjustment problems dating back to preschool. He probably made no real connections, had no real friends in elementary school. He may have even been a bed wetter or tortured animals. These are all classic signs of serial killers and mass murderers. Emigrating from Korea at a young age, looking different from other kids in his suburban Washington home didn't help.

Who are the experts when it comes to assessing children's behavior?

Teachers.

Teachers can tell you which kids will do well later in life and which kids will end up in jail. Teachers know who the bullies are, who the shy kids are and they know who are the class clowns. Teachers look our children in the eye everyday and see their inner-workings. They see how our children interact with the world on a daily basis.

His teachers must have known there was something different about this kid, but what could they do? Teachers have to kowtow to parents (who spend less time awake with their children than the teachers do Monday through Friday) and to principals and school boards who are unsympathetic to their concerns. If a teacher tells a parent that they have observed behaviors that are abnormal, then usually the parents become resentful and view the information as an indictment of their parenting.

We put enough burden on our overworked teachers, but there should be a system in place where our teachers can identify children with potential problems and have serious, comprehensive follow-up.

There was no way to prevent a mentally unstable man, fully armed, unafraid to die from doing what he did, but we need to pay more attention to our children and other peoples children. I am not advocating witch-hunts and refilling the state hospitals and mental institutions with people who have mild or even moderate mental illness. I do think we need to identify children at a young age who show anti-social tendencies and be sure that they are properly assessed and treated.

I am uncomfortable with labels. I have worked for the past eighteen years in the field of mental health and seen the damage that labeling someone at a young age can do. I have had clients who are carrying around diagnoses for decades after they have exhibited any symptomology. Labels have discouraged employers from hiring them, the community from embracing them and perpetuated the alienation that drives them further from inclusion.

In the case of this shooter, 32 lives could have been saved by giving this man a label and a chance of being treated for his illness.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and acts like a duck.... then its a duck.

1992 vs 2007

I have gone to many Opening Days in my life. Some things change, some things stay the same. I will now compare and contrast my Opening Day experiences juxtaposing Opening Day 1992 and Opening day 2007.



7:00 A.M.

1992: Nursing a mild hangover I drink 1/2 a pot of coffee while reading the Globe sports section, The caffeine brings me back and within an hour I'm ready to start drinking, again. I call my friends to make sure we have enough beer and weed for the ride to Boston.

2007: For some unknown reason my kids have already been awake for two hours. I feel hungover, but its only the sleep deprivation I've constantly felt since my oldest was born four years ago. I drink 1/2 a pot of coffee, but am still exhausted.

9:00 A.M.

1992: We are already passing Sturbridge. I am driving, as usual with this crew.

Zucher already has two DUI's and gets really sloppy.

Eric has a penchant for passing out (usually on the bar).

Chris smokes about an ounce of weed per week; his eyes are permanently blood-shot.

We have already finished off half a case of Bud Light even though Chris isn't drinking, yet. "You're a bunch of fucking drunks" he wheezes, while blowing out a massive hit off of his bowl.



We get to the toll plaza in Weston and realize we need a light for a joint Chris rolled for our entrance into Boston. His lighter is dead from his non-stop toking. We roll down the window to pay the toll and I ask "Riley", an elderly toll taker if he has a light. He leans over and lights Chris's joint who is leaning over me toward the window. I say thanks and he smiles. He knows whats up. We decide that Riley is the coolest old-guy ever.

2007:

We drop off the kids at my sister-in-laws. This will be the longest we'll be together alone without our kids since my youngest was born two years ago. I have my wife drive. We grab a six pack of Bud Light and get on the road. I open my first beer when we pass Sturbridge. I open her a beer and she nurses it until we get to the Weston toll plaza. I fire down two more before we get to Kenmore Square.

11:00 A.M.

1992:

We have been drinking and smoking in the car for the last hour parked in the "Fens". We get out to head to some bars, but Chris scoffs. He complains about spending money when we still have beers in the car. I offer to buy him beers and reassure him that there are some alleys near the ballpark where he can smoke up. We stumble to the "Cask and Flagon".

2007: We park behind the B.U. bookstore on the street. Its a 50/50 chance that we will get a ticket, which if we get one will only cost $25 compared to $35 or $40 to park in a lot. We roll the dice.

I pee in a bush near the car; my wife is angry she has to hold it until we get to a bar. Its nice to have a penis.

We hurry through Kenmore Square. "The Cask" and "Beer Works" have 30-40 minute waits. We head over to the ticket holder concourse on Yawkey Way and wait 15 minutes for them to open the gates. The bar "Who's on First" is located in that area, so we head down into the bar and rush for the bathroom.

12:00 P.M.

1992: We leave the "Cask" after three beers each and head to "Who's". During the five minute walk we lose Zucher. Chris starts complaining that there are too many people around to spark up. I suggest an alley next to the souvenir shop. He sees a couple of kids down there toking and decides its safe. He is placated for the time being.

"Who's" is packed. I grab a round and some guy spills half his drink on my as I had out the round. I call him an asshole a push him in the back. He turns around and mumbles something incoherent, then heads toward the bathroom. I feel tough, liquid courage.

2007: We are having a good time at "Who's". We are drinking $6 Bud Lights and we have won a hat and a key chain during some contests put on by some local radio station. Its shoulder to shoulder but people say "excuse me" and "sorry" when they brush by. We drop $30 on beer and decide to head into the park.

1:00 P.M.

1992: Beers are flowing but Chris is getting anxious to smoke again. We head up into the street from "Whos" and go back to the alley. After his "attitude adjustment" we look for Zucher. We find him in front of the bleachers entrance on Landsdowne Street eating an Italian Sausage. I know that won't be the last time I see that sausage.

We head into the ballpark and catch the tail end of the Orioles batting practice. We go up to our seats. This is our second year with season tickets. We reacquaint ourselves with the regulars.

There is "Goose" a guy who is perpetually hammered and bears a striking resemblance to Goose Gossage.


Stein, who is always keeping score and pouring over stats. He looks just like Rudy Stein from the "Bad News Bears

(Stein is the third from the left in the back row)

"Suit Man" is there. He wore a suit to opening day last year and the moniker stuck. No one knows his real name and no one cares.

We all head down to the beer line for a few more pre-game beers


2007: We stop behind home plate for a few photo ops then we head for our seat in the bleachers. We grab some beers and wait for my employee Tim to show up. I sold him tickets for the $23 per ticket face value and he offered to buy my beer. That raises the ticket value to $100 per. Tim comes up from underneath the bleachers carrying four beers, all for me!! (and Lori). He has brought his friend Jeff from Oregon. When I think of Oregon I think of green, sticky kind-bud, with purple and red hairs intertwined throughout. I almost ask him if he's got any, then I decide that I don't want to be curled up in the fetal position in a shit-covered stall with dudes banging on the door, angrily, pushing in their turtle heads. I can't smoke weed anymore without chancing disaster, so I live vicariously through Tim who hasn't had a drink in a year, but still partakes. He is living vicariously through my intoxication.

1:45 P.M.

1992: The pre-game ceremony consists of a Marine singing the National Anthem with accompaniment of a band. No real pomp and circumstance, not enough to keep us in our seats. I see the first pitch on TV waiting in the beer line.


2007: The 1967 Sox are the feature of a 20 minute pre-game ceremony which includes the unfurling of an American Flag the width and length of the "Monster", each member of the 1967 Sox taking their position in the field (was that really Tony C.?) and the singing of "America the Beautiful" by Harry Conack Jr. Johnny Pesky even proclaimed "Play Ball". We all stay standing waiting for the National Anthem, but Ichiro digs into the batters box with no "Oh Beautiful..". Did we miss it. Am I that drunk?

3:00 P.M.

1992: Viola is getting pummeled. We are all hammered. Zucher is passed out. Eric is doing the "head bob". Chris is getting bitchy, he wants to leave. I am drunkenly professing my love for Ellis Burks. "Your the best Ellis"..."Ellis we love you" I scream. Some guy a couple of rows down says "why don't you go suck his dick". I say "I will, right after I kick your ass!!". We have a stare down. Then I decide I don't want to be one of the 2 dozen assholes already thrown out and sit down. I am drunk enough that I just might felate Ellis, if he'd have me.

I've already personally destroyed two beach balls that made their way into "our" section. Each time the wave gets to our section we sit. We eventually kill the wave, but it always returns.


2007: Sox are up 7-0 after three innings. Beckett looks like Clemens circa 1992. Lori is freezing, so I head down to Dunkin Donuts to get her a coffee. The line is longer than the line is for the bathroom, which is ridiculously long. I grab a couple slices of pizza and head back to our seats. Tim has more beer waiting. If it wasn't 25 degrees with the wind chill factor those tickets would be a $200 value.

There is no wave, no beach balls and no "Star-Spangled Banner", are we really at Fenway?

4:30 P.M.

1992: Zucher wakes up and sloshes down to the beer line. He is shut off. The Sox have tied the game, so Chris is calm (he also took a few hits in the bathroom). Fossas blows the tie in the eighth and Darwin gives up an insurance run in the ninth. Sox lose. On the way back to the car I see the guy I had the beef with in the park. I call him a pussy. He calls me a fag. We go our separate ways.

2007: We are freezing. Its 14-1 in the eighth. We stay because in baseball you never know when you'll see something you've never seen before. We see nothing except for Timlin giving up 2 in the ninth to make the final 14-3. We walk briskly toward Kenmore and decide to hit a bar on Beacon, just to warm up.

6:00 P.M.


1992: We finish the rest of our beers at the car then drive down Brookline Ave to catch Route 9 West. We have to take a leak so I pull over in the Chestnut Hiil Mall parking lot. We wave to the motorists with the hands we aren't using. Eric pukes which makes me puke. We pile back in and decide we need more beer. Zucher remembers that he has a six pack of "Micky's Big Mouths" he put in his nap sack for just the occasion. We crack them open as we head west. After a few swigs I realize that my beer is skunked. I roll down my window and throw the almost full beer out onto Route 9. I immediately realize it was a stupid move and concentrate on my driving. They all think it was hilarious and continue drinking their skunked out beer.



2007: We go to an Irish bar called "An Tua Nua" which means "drink our overpriced beer, sucker" in Gaelic. Tim is still buying, so I order a Guinness and Lori orders a Bud Light. We are there over an hour and I only drink half my beer. I have 100 miles to drive and need to sober up a bit. Just as we finally warmed up we decide to walk the 5 blocks back to our car. We say "bye" to Tim and Jeff who are staying in town to se Matsusaka the following evening. We have a bright orange ticket on the windshield. Craps, Line out.

8:00 P.M.





1992: We get back into Western Mass and decide to hit a stripper bar. We go to Anthony's Gentleman's Club. Zucher pukes in the parking lot and Chris calls us light weights. They have the "B" squad working. No one gets a lap-dance, but a few girls are worthy of some ones. I am 27 and all of the girls look older. We leave, disappointed at the lack of quality girls. A block from the club Chris is mumbling something. I pull over and he runs for the side of the road and pukes for about two minutes. Cars honk at him as he heaves. He gets back in the car and we heckle and chide him for the entire 20 minute ride back to Nothampton.

2007: Lori and I arrive at an Italian restaurant in West Springfield we've been wanting to check out. We enjoy the hour eating casually without the kids. We talk about the game, the kids and gossip about friends.

9:30 P.M.
1992: I am passed out in bed. Safely. I tempt fate once again. Lucky.

2007: We pick up the kids at my sister-in-laws. They are sleeping. We get them home and in bed. We pass out.

The Next Day

1992: I spend the entire day hungover, lying in bed.

2007: I am tired, but not hungover. I drink 1/2 a pot of coffee while reading the Globe On-line and listen to the boys play in their room. I reflect on the game yesterday, opening days in years past and other binge drinking episodes. I decide that I am glad I am no longer 25, but I certainly made the most of it when I was. I ponder how I've made it to 42 in one piece.

Disaster!!!

I just had my first blogging disaster. I had just finished a long post involving many pictures. I tried to delete a picture and suddenly half my post was gone. I didn't panic yet. I hit recover post and it came back....the first paragraph.

I started screaming like a madman. I ran into my bedroom and punched my pillow a dozen times. Two hours of my life ........gone!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look for my new post Monday!! :)

Its Official: Winter Ends Tommorrow

What a strange winter.

My kids were playing outside in short sleeves during mid-January. Christmas Day was 50 degrees. Easter Day 35 degrees with snow flurries. Daylight savings ended weeks early, but no one can enjoy sunlight at 6 PM when there is a foot of snow on the ground with a wind chill factor of 9 degrees. This topsy-turvey winter will officially end tomorrow.

Signs of winters demise began 10 days ago when the last of our late March, 15 inch snow storm melted away. A week ago I awoke to the sounds of birds congregating in the arbor vitae that guard my backyard. On Friday I played my first round of golf for the year, albeit in windy, 40 degree weather (I shot a respectable +3). The tulips have started poking through the frigid ground in my front yard. These are all benchmarks on the march toward spring.

No matter how cold it is or how much snow dots the pike from Stockbridge to Boston, winter ends at 2:05 tomorrow when Josh Beckett takes the mound at Fenway Park.

Signs of spring start in early February when the obligatory photo of the equipment truck being loaded for Spring Training shows up on the front page of the Globe. Hope builds when you tune in to a sun splashed spring training telecast and see Remy and Orsillo looking bronzed and refreshed as if they came straight from the pool. Spring is almost here when the Sox open in K.C., Minnesota or some other foriegn locale.

Spring starts when the vendors on Landsdowne and Yawkey Way fire up the sausages and dogs.

Spring starts when the first beer is poured at the "Cask".

Spring starts when I sit down in my seat in the right field bleachers.

Spring starts as soon as the hometown nine jog onto the sod with their home whites gleaming against the green grass.

Spring starts when Variteks's glove pops during Beckett's warm up pitches.

Spring starts when Ichiro digs into the batter's box.


Vernal Equinox? Forget it!!!

Spring starts April 10, 2:05 P.M.

Good Friday

"Every time you sin, you nail Jesus to the cross all over again".

I am not quoting a priest from my childhood or my grandmother. That is a quote from the sermon given by my priest on this past Sunday, Palm Sunday. I have not been in church since last Easter; its been difficult to attend Mass with kids.
Even before kids we attended mass sporadically, but definitely more often than once per year.

The sermon on Palm Sunday was different than those I've heard over the past twenty years. The "fire and brimstone" sermons of my youth have been replaced by sermons consisting of feel good stories, affirmations that God loves us and countless bad jokes. On Sunday my priest went "old school". I think that the sermons purpose is to make you think, so I believe my priest's sermon was effective.

Although I agree with his message, I differ with his words. I would have said "Every time you sin, you nail the person you sinned against to the cross". His message utilized guilt, mine utilizes empathy. There is nothing wrong with a little guilt. Guilt keeps us in line, but guilt puts the focus on you and brings to the forefront that "you" feel bad. Empathy connects your actions to the other persons feelings.

When you sin (I say when "you" sin because I never do, of course not) you shouldn't feel bad about Jesus being nailed to the cross, he asked for it. That was his destiny. At anytime leading up to the events of Good Friday he could have backed out and many of us Christians would still be Jews. You should feel bad about the people you sinned against, they didn't ask for it.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Guilt is good, empathy is better.

Sox Win. Soooox Win!!

How about them Sox!!!

Beckett looked unhittable.

How about that Drew!!! Trot who??

Pedroia/Lugo is the best double play combo since Doyle/Burleson.

Schill must have had an off day; he's still the Ace .

Only a half a game behind the Yanks. They are back in the hunt.

Bull-Pen troubles are over. No earned runs.

Those base running errors Tuesday were a fluke.

Did you see Lugo sacrifice? That's what we need at the top of the order.

Varitek looks like the Varitek of 2004.

Dice K going today!!!

What a difference a day (and a win) makes.

Red Sox: 2007 World Series Champions

I am no psychic. I am great at predicting the outcome of a particular play. For example, with Kevin Faulk as the single back in a spread offense on third down and long, 9 out of ten times it is a draw play.
I can occasionally predict the outcome of a particular game (unless I put money on it). Pick the division winners, ALCS match-ups and World Series Champion? Crap shoot.

Call your bookie, log on to your offshore account you haven't looked at since dropping $200 on the Super Bowl. Hide the women and children. Here are my 2007 baseball picks.


American League:
East: Reds Sox
Central: Twins
West: Angels
Wild Card: Toronto

The Yankees will fall out of the top spot for the first time in nine years; Torre will be the first manager fired in the Majors this year. Twins win the toughest division in baseball. Toronto sneaks into the wild card benefiting from the bloodbath in the Central. Angels cruise in the West.


National League:
East: Mets
Central: Cubs
West: Dodgers
Wild Card: Diamond Backs

Mets eek out the East over Florida and Atlanta. Chicago rolls in the Central winning 100+. Dodgers and D-Backs make the playoffs with the "Red Sox West" winning the West. LaRussa will be fired (or in rehab) by Memorial Day.

ALDS/ALCS: Sox beat the Twins; Angels beat Toronto. Sox beat the Angels in six.

NLDS/NLCS: D-Backs beat the Mets; Cubs beat the Dodgers. Cubs beat the D-backs in four.

World Series: Cubs come into the "Series" on fire winning the most games in the Majors having both NL Cy Young Award winner Carlos Zambrano and League MVP Alfonso Soriano. Sox have AL Cy Young winner and Rookie of the Year, 20 game winner, "Dice K" Matzusaka and MVP runner-up David Ortiz (runner-up to position player, Vlad Guererro). Sox win the first two at Fenway behind "Dice K", who is now the number one and Schilling. Cubs win game three and score 10 earned off of Beckett. Wakefield rights the boat in game four. Dice K wins game five, as well as the series MVP, throwing nine consecutive Gyro-balls, striking out the side, to end a complete game shutout. "I save gyro barrl for when rearry, rearry need" he says in a post game interview while being sprayed with Suntory beer, without an interpreter.

Red Sox vs Royals at 4:10 PM. First game in a World Championship season.

Sox: 6 Royals: 1