Thursday, October 08, 2009

Youkatek


I hate facial hair. I have grown a beard a few times over the past 30 years, but never kept it past three weeks. It gets itchy, food gets caught in it and I look like an old man or at least, an older man. While shaving last week I started out with my usual routine. I shave the sides first starting at the right ear, down the right cheek to the right corner of my mouth. My 6 year old son Matt was brushing his teeth while I was shaving. When he saw my partially shaved face he screeched "Yoooouk!"; foamy toothpaste flew from his mouth. When I went to finish the job he pleaded for me to leave the goatee ala Kevin Youkilis, gold glove first baseman for the Boston Red Sox. I carefully shaved the other side and trimmed my neck into a respectable goatee. He was elated. "Dad, your not Youk, you're Varitek" referring to the Boston Catcher Jason Vairtek who also sports a goatee albeit less cro-magnon than the neanderthal-like Youkilis. As I patted down my freshly shaved cheeks and admired my manly growth he blurted out "You're Youk-a-tek!!!" and laughed with a blend of self amusement and derision. I gave him a big, juicy kiss on the cheek making sure I rubbed my growth back and forth across his cheek. He laughed at first, then complained that it itched. "Wait till mom feels this", I explained as I knew she wouldn't like it at all.

Today is day ten of the "Youkatek" and its getting more Youk than Tek by the day. Tonight the Red Sox take the field in LA in their quest of winning a third World Series title in six seasons. I'll try to sport the Youkatek till they get knocked out of the playoff or until they bring home another title. Until then its itch, itch...scratch, scratch.

And probably no sex.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this story...kids sure are a trip:)
Love
Deb

Suldog said...

Oh, man, so now we're both sporting them. I haven't shaved at all since my dental surgery, but had started growing the full fu manchu connected goatee, like yours, about a week earlier. Had just the goatee on the chin before, as you know. The red-headed version just looks like Danny Bonaduce or something. Or maybe Colonel Sanders, since my hair is more white than red these days...

Andraste said...

If the sox win tonight, you're on the hook to keep it until the playoffs are over. We won't even CONSIDER last night's game official - didn't happen. La la la la la la

Anali said...

Love the Youkatek look! Although I guess you've gotten rid of it by now. : )

Los Angelista said...

So how's the Youkatek holding up? Shaved clean yet?

Christine said...

Cute stories. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 9, so I have seen many "stages." Enjoy them all as they really do fly by much more quickly than we realize.

sewwhat? said...

This has nothing to do with facial hair, but a post you made last year about your little brother, and the Christmas story, "The Littlest Angel" I had a handicapped brother, and that story was one my parents read to help them understand why they were blessed with a handicapped child as #5 in the family. Your story was heartwrenching, but so vivid, I could imagine I was listening to you personally. Thanks for the story. Read my blog at www.soooowht.blogspot.com

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